selfish

i am a selfish beast
for i weep
but not for sorrow's sake
i weep because of people
but not because of their sorrows
i weep because i am lonely
but not because there is no one to ease my sorrow
i weep because i long for attention
i am a selfish beast indeed

my own scars

do you know the sorrows that grace my mind?
the craters where lighting rent the earth?
there are so many
is it possible for you to know all of them?

even if it were, would i let you?
could i let you in to examine every scar?
to dig into the wounds that pain me?
to know my sorrows, my burden?

those things which make me me
define me, explain me?
things i hold dear and hate so much?
which bind me to the earth, and make me smile, but only sadly?

no, not ever
not now
i cannot let you now
so don't even try
i will fight you with my very life
i do not trust you with my life

oppressive

the weight of the world
bows my head
shuts my eyes
makes me dead

holds my voice
within my head
binds my hands
with bricks of lead

i cannot breathe
i cannot speak
i cannot think
i cannot be

i cannot move
i cannot blink
i cannot stand
i only shrink

fetters bind
my silent feet
chains unwind
and bind complete

i can't look up
to see the sky
they won't let me
i don't try

they are cold
and heartless beasts
my last resort
shall me release

heaven, save me
i'm afraid
before i die
now i pray