well

people ask,

"fare thee well?"

my head nods yes

my heart shakes a resounding no

pain

can you see the pain in my eyes?

can you feel the tears soon to fall?

do you know what it's like to hide?

can you feel what i feel at all?

i draw away, in fear i pull back

keeping me safe, keeping my heart

away from the danger, so love do i lack

lost in a desert, i thirst, fall apart

sew

when my mind is burdened
many thoughts within
take a piece of parchment
pull out a pen

drawing like a needle
pulling ink like thread
leave a mark of many words
don't leave things unsaid

leave a picture pretty
or complicated be
of sorrow, sad, or gladness
let thread be heart to see

a mark on former fresh is made
a permanence is sought
just speak the thoughts inside of you
and sew yourself a thought

fire

a fire burning

burning

on the horizon

churning

melting and eating

the light pricks my eyes

like needles

flames lick at timbers

hungry

reaching for sky

for escape

running

drive faster

the fire is coming

of a rainstorm

sky is weeping

sorrow falls liquid

drops of

suffering

falling

down

shelter me

seclusion beneath

hold me close

away from sadness

tears

of

hope

rain

down

my love

open wound

clouds torn
the skin of the earth
rent like so much parchment

and we
the blood of the earth
will we fly off its face
and seep through the open wound
into the night sky?

window

a window in the clouds to see

the blue of day

and light of sky

highlight the green of hills

white of clouds

light of life

let the sun through

the hand of God shines

through rain laden clouds

paint

behind my painted eyes

my soul

wipe the tears away

the paint comes off

you can see into my soul

Seeds

When I was born, I was very small. A tiny thing.

God and His angels came to my bedside to present me with birthday gifts.

The angels lined up, giving me

angel kisses

words of love

guardianship

wisdom

kindess

many things

God came last with a handful of packages, bags of different sizes, and each with a name.

"These I give to you," He said, "Use them wisely.

"Some satchets have but one life, and some will never be empty

"but it is up to you to use them."

And so my birthing day was done

Happy parents held me close, friends gathered round in celebration.

Meanwhile, the still small me pondered God's gift.

I looked through the packets, examining every one.

Some had but one seed in them. Some were stuffed full. Some had seeds of different colors and shapes.

I turned to find a shelf of shovels, gloves, watering cans, and a book labeled "How to Garden"

So I took up a shovel and dug several small, sloppy holes

and planted one seed from each satchet

and labeled each little pile of dirt

Kindness

Patience

Virginity

Love

Faithfulness

Health

and many others.

From the ones with many seeds, i thought carefully and chose which was the prettiest.

And so I watered and weeded and waited for each to grow.

Some grew very quickly.
Happiness grew into a great bush with many berries on it.

Health waxed and waned, but I often could do nothing for it.

Yet the one that interested me most of all the packages was Love.

Love had the most varied seeds, and the most beautiful,

yet I was hesitant to plant some of them, for they were too pretty.

As I grew, so did the plants. I learned how to tend them, and when the fruit was best to pick.

I learned to keep them well and hale.

I learned when to plant more seeds.

I learned slowly, a little at a time.

The satchet labelled Love still intrigued me the most.

The last Love seed I planted for a long while was one blood red.

That day I think I heard the angels singing...

And soon I found but a few, and the most beautiful, Love seeds remaining.

The two I loved to look at most were the two most alike

One, which seemed almost to have a face on it, and the most beautiful color

And the other, almost identical yet different enough, and so intrigueing.

I treasured these for a long while

Yet as I grew and became an adult,

loneliness pulled at my heart.

I longed to plant those seeds, for I felt that the loneliness would ease

but I did not.

I didn't think it was time yet.

Until I met someone wonderful.

Someone intrigueing.

Someone whose face reminded me of that seed.

I wondered if it was time to plant that seed.

I asked my Father, and He said,
"It is yours to plant, child.

"Know that I will be with you

"No matter what."

And so I pondered and pondered

and said to myself,

It might be time to plant this seed called Love.

crash

i don't know what to say

my mouth is frozen shut

my voice is stuck

i crashed into the wall

and now my heart is broke

my eyes, they won't stop

this never ending fount of sorrow

the doctor tells me

now my smile is fractured

and suddenly i think the rest is broken too

i lost my heart

this game is not fun anymore

i looked into the future

i didn't like what i saw

everything was unclear

i was afraid

terrified of the tears

the ones to fall from now til then

it feels like forever

but how long will it last?

sooner or later it will all fall apart

the world will crumble down

crash around our feet

heartbeat

once upon a time there was a heartbeat

i knew it like my own

it went beat, beat, beat

like a softly ticking metronome

and it rocked me to sleep

but then i grew up

and i lost the sound

the softly ticking time

it left my head

it filled instead

with words and sound

and music and noise 

and chaos and stuff

and stuff

i missed that heartbeat

until i found another

another beat beat beat

that puts me at ease 

yet again, like long ago

i don't know it as well

but i like the sound

different, but the same

like a softly ticking metronome

and someday i hope

i hope i can give to

another tiny person

the gift of my heartbeat

the beat beat metronome

a softly ticking lullaby

to sing them to sleep

until they grow up

and find a new heartbeat

and so it goes

ryan stiles' shoe

if Ryan Stiles' shoes

were any brighter blue

i fear i would go blind

my eyes would be maligned

and i would laugh and laugh

until my head popped off

and it would bounce around

draw on a stupid frown

upon the face of me

which is of course myself

and i would be with us

a threesome of renown

ridiculous, i know

and all because of shoe

so blue it me does blind

as it flies through my view

smile

my heart is spinning

up and down

back and forth

round and round

thoughts bounce round inside my head

i smile, frown, and smile again

and all for you, 

my love, my dear

my heart, it soars for you, i fear

yet fear is far from thought and mind

when i'm with you, 

your hand in mine

you make me smile, darling, soul

my head thrown back to laugh with you

i'm not afraid when here i stand

you make me brave, 

my dream come true

you

a bird can fly with wings on high

a fish soars through the ocean blue

and stuck to earth though i must be, 

yet soars my heart when i'm with you

pieces

i'm torn apart

shredded to pieces

my heart was fine

now it's fallen to pieces

nothing left now

torn up from the inside

the pieces fly away

til the shell is empty inside

i hate this feeling

feeling without a heart

feeling without feeling

torn up without bleeding

i hate this crying

that i cannot explain

no more talk of sighing

now i'm full of pain

night sky

once upon a time

we were children staring at the sky

with great imaginations

of orion far away, holding a mighty bow

of leo lounging, or pouncing on some wayward beast

but now we are grown

no longer children

and now, holding your hand, 

we stare at the sky above

and know that orion is not standing in the sky far away

nor leo restiong in some distant copse

we wonder in great wonderment

at the breadth of the sky

and the distance of the stars

and in that moment, 

we call upon God

the creator of great orion, of leo

of breadth and depth

of this great night sky

and we say,

God, You are.

wind

you take away my breath

you steal it from my mouth

and lock it up inside a box

and now i cannot breathe 

and now i suffocate

my throat is closed with ninety locks

my soul, it cannot move

my heart, it feels to break

the tears are falling into earth

the earth is swallowing

the pain is like to death

i fear i can endure no more

i am not breathing now

i think i never was

for memory from me is torn