what i lack

i am lacking many things
some of which i need
and one of these, disheartening,
the courage to proceed

i know not how to speak my mind
my voice stops in my throat
i choke, i fear what they may think
and so i hide my hope

my face is blank when i look round
for heart i do supress
it stays inside its little box
devoid of happiness

i am not brave, and every day
i curse my stupid pride
which holds my tongue and chills my bones
until i want to cry

i long for bravery inside
i long to be set free
from chains i bind about myself
and doors without a key

God help me, i will scream aloud
for soon i'll reach the point
when i must choose to run away
or stand on my two feet